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Thread: Valentines Day - a Reminder on Romancing your Seven

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    Default Valentines Day - a Reminder on Romancing your Seven

    Why is this in the general sevens discussion section you are wondering?

    No, its not a reminder of Valentines Day in the usual sense for men who forget. No I am not the warm loving type like the rest of you so I am not going to give you kisses, hugs, etc or that type of manly contact you enjoy (thank goodness for that). Instead its a reminder that you have a second woman in your life - your cars.

    Back in 2011 this forum had a feisty forum member called "BessieTheSeven". She was the Club President's Lotus 7 S2 that somehow learned to type. Sadly she was banned after instigating a bimbo eruption from a challenging forum member (she was the instigator not the bimbo). But before she was banned from the forum, she left us a reminder of how you should remember your cars for Valentines Day. Its quoted below.

    Quote Originally Posted by BessieTheSeven View Post
    As it is Valentines Day, I thought I would offer you socially retarded auto-geeks some helpful advice to romance your Se7en today plus get her into great shape after a long winter.

    As a girl that has been spurned by her owner (ooooh…..I am sooooo mad! Just wait till Al gets near me again – I am going to dribble oil all over his white sneakers ), I think I know a lot about this topic and want to make sure that your girls do not similarly suffer.

    Personally, like all good girls, I love being touched up with lube and given a good servicing – the longer the better. Make sure you cover all the obvious spots – grease nipples, ball joints, suspension bushings, etc. Change the rubber hoses that look a little second hand. Service the belts and chains. Give your girl a nice cool refreshing cocktail of Mobil 1 or similar quality liquid. As an alternative, I cannot get enough of the Prestone coolant drink these days – just yummy!

    Take it from me that all girls just love a good spa treatment. Get out the polishing cloth or orbital polisher and give her a lovely waxing to remove all that winter stubble from her luscious curves. She will just glow and shine with happiness. Even that faded paintwork will come up like new again.

    Now some guys think a good Se7en spa treatment involves getting out the angle grinder and doing a little metal/plastic surgery. Hold on guys. This is often not the best way to improve a girl’s looks. I mean just look at that Rotus that some angle-grinding mad scientist [Slngsht] turned into a “female” East German weightlifter from the Soviet days – all brawn and no femininity. No silky smooth shaved legs on that one. Instead take a lesson from that suave and sophisticated silver fox at USA7s, Skip [Scannon], who just slavishes attention all over his stunning supermodel of an SV Seven. Personally, compared to me with my sleek figure, I have always found the SV girls to be a little Rubenesque with those wide hips and fat ass, but I bet she gets down and blows a turbo to keep him happy. I wonder if he has an extra garage space free for me?

    Turning to inner beauty I can tell you from experience, we girls love a good suck. Especially to remove the gravel, stones, dirt, gum wrappers, soda bottles, etc from the cockpit and seats. A little vacuuming never hurt anyone. A little nourishing crème for the leather and vinyl surfaces keeps my complexion as smooth and wrinkle free as a baby’s bottom.

    It is a sensitive topic but I need to be candid with you gentlemen. Like your cars, all of you usually need a makeover where it counts. Like a lot of girls, I just have a fetish for leather. If you are going to bury your size 10’s into my tight pedal box then please do it with a little class. None of these Piloti’s or heaven forbid Nike sneakers. No, I much rather a buttery soft leather driving moccasin – Tod’s or Zegna make a lovely driving mocc – they just send shivers up and down my driveshaft when I feel the soft leather caressing my accelerator…..sigh……

    Following this extended romancing, I think you will have a stunner of a woman that you can get down and just drive wild with excitement. She will look tip top and beautiful. Even better she may decide not give you a hissy fit from her radiator and leave you rejected by the side of the road.

    Until next driving!

    Bessie The Seven

    The original thread and entertaining responses are here.

    So remember guys - buy something special for your cars on Valentines Day - I know will enjoy it.
    2010 Caterham CSR with Cosworth 2.3 Duratec
    2018 Caterham 420R with 2L Duratec 210hp at Donington UK
    1975 BMW CSL Group 4 (restoration finished - track set up time)
    1977 Holden Torana "A9X" (awaiting restoration)
    1985 Holden Commodore SS Group A (suspension restoration)
    1985 Holden Commodore Group A (suspension set up)
    1982 Ferrari 400i (radiator replacement)
    1965 Ford Mustang Fastback "Holman Moody"
    1992 Ford Escort RS Cosworth WRC (dyno time)
    1990 Range Rover 2 door Classic
    and another project car coming....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Erie, CO


    Ah Bessie the 7, how we miss you. There is always room for you in my shop but remember my size 12 shoes are a tight fit in your (pedal) box.
    Gone but not forgotten: 2004 Caterham SV:

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Arkansas and . . .


    Bring her back!
    Stalker V8, chassis #85

    Stalker Chassis #85 Build Gallery
    Stalker Chassis #85 Owner Thread

    Get up in the morning and give the day your very best. You don’t get it back.

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